Every method I use is humane and dog-friendly. I never use fear, pain or force – not in home-alone training, and not in any other kind of training or behaviour work.
But just as important as what I do is why. My starting point is that we are not simply training a behaviour away – we are helping your dog’s brain and nervous system learn that being alone is genuinely safe. Calm isn’t something we can force. It’s a feeling of safety in the body, and we build it up little by little.
A quick word about the term ‘separation anxiety’
Most people know this challenge as separation anxiety, and it’s what people search for – so I use it here. But I actually prefer to talk about Separation Related Behaviours.
The reason is that it isn’t always about anxiety. Some dogs are frightened, even panic-stricken, yes – but others react more out of frustration at being shut away from their person, or because they feel they are missing out. The cause differs from dog to dog, which is exactly why the help can’t be a one-size-fits-all template. The better I understand what is driving your dog’s particular response, the more precisely I can help.
This is confirmed by the research. A large study of 762 dogs with separation related problems from the University of Lincoln (de Assis et al., 2020) found that this is not a single, uniform condition but several distinct sub-groups – some driven by fear or panic, others by frustration or boredom. In other words: your dog is an individual, and the help you get needs to fit your particular dog.
How I approach home-alone training
The home-alone training itself happens in very small, manageable steps. We work below the level that makes your dog uneasy – so your dog experiences one small success after another, and the brain gets to learn: ‘this is actually safe.’ It is your dog’s own sense of calm that sets the pace, not a calendar. We only increase the difficulty when your dog is ready for it.
You could compare it a little to the way people with phobias are helped: in tiny steps, and never by being thrown into the thing they fear. But here is an important difference that means everything to me – the goal is not just for your dog to tolerate being alone. The goal is for your dog to genuinely feel safe. Those are two very different things.
My whole approach is emotion-first, and it is grounded in my own ongoing education – including through The DoGenius Institute – and in current behavioural research. In particular, I draw on the psychobiological approach that Professor Daniel Mills has developed over more than 25 years at the University of Lincoln. In short, it means we start from the dog’s emotions and nervous system, not just the behaviour we can see from the outside. The gradual, step-by-step method itself is well established within modern, gentle home-alone training, and I set it within this broader frame, where the whole dog and your dog’s sense of safety are what everything revolves around.
We start with the whole dog
Home-alone training rarely stands alone. Before and alongside the training itself, I look at your dog’s whole life, because so many things can affect how safe a dog feels:
- Is something physical going on? Pain, discomfort or illness can sit underneath the behaviour or make it worse, without being obvious from the outside. So, a check-up with the vet is sometimes the most important first step.
- Does your dog have a safe place? A consistent spot where your dog can fully relax – and you as a safe base to lean on.
- Is everyday life balanced for your dog? Enough good-quality sleep, the right kind of activity (quality over quantity), predictable routines and having a say in their own day all lower the general stress level and free up capacity to learn something new.
- We meet your dog where they are right now – not where we wish they were.
I often work with exercises that build your dog’s independence, confidence and resilience at the same time – all of which help your dog feel more secure about being alone.
While we train: no alone time
When we begin, it is important that you can commit to your dog not being left alone while the training is underway. If we are training that being alone should feel safe – but your dog still ends up alone and distressed now and then – the two pull in opposite directions, and the training works far less well.
That is why it can be a good idea to enlist dog-sitters, family or a doggy daycare, so your dog is covered while you are at work, out shopping and so on. Some dogs are also perfectly happy waiting in the car while you shop (as long as it is safe and the temperature allows). And should a situation arise where alone time genuinely can’t be avoided, we make a plan for exactly that, so it doesn’t undo the training.
As a rule, we get the best results when training happens 4–5 days a week.
How long does it take?
Home-alone training for a dog with separation related behaviour can take time — several months isn’t unusual. But if you throw yourself into it wholeheartedly and follow the steps at your dog’s pace, there is good reason for optimism. When we work emotion-first, start from your particular dog and build safety from the ground up, there are very good chances of helping a dog who finds it hard to be alone.
How it works in practice
All behaviour work and training for separation related behaviour takes place via Zoom.
When I start with a new client, I always begin with an assessment of where your dog is right now – the current picture. Before that, I send out a questionnaire so I can gather a little more information about your dog. There are many factors that can play into why a dog struggles with being alone, and the more I know in advance, the better.
The initial assessment lasts 60–90 minutes. We go through the questionnaire together and perhaps we do some exercises that help me understand the extent of your dog’s difficulties with being alone. (You don’t need to record any video beforehand – we do it live together, so your dog isn’t put under unnecessary pressure.)
After that, I can offer a 8-week package, where you get:
- 8 Zoom sessions (one per week)
- access to a training app where I create your training plans and give feedback
- the option to ask my advice via WhatsApp or similar on weekdays
After the 8 weeks, we evaluate together whether you feel confident enough to continue the training on your own, or whether we should carry on working together – possibly in a reduced form.
Would you like to get started?
If you have a dog who isn’t happy being left alone, and you’d like some help getting started with training, do get in touch.
You can book a free, no-obligation initial chat of 30 minutes by emailing tina@tinashappyhounds.dk.
Sources and further reading
- de Assis, L. S., Matos, R., Pike, T. W., Burman, O. H. P., & Mills, D. S. (2020). Developing Diagnostic Frameworks in Veterinary Behavioral Medicine: Disambiguating Separation Related Problems in Dogs. Frontiers in Veterinary Science, 6, 499. https://doi.org/10.3389/fvets.2019.00499
- The psychobiological approach to clinical animal behaviour was developed by Professor Daniel Mills, University of Lincoln.
